We Are the Stories We Tell A Personal Reflection

In 2017, I bought a calendar. The calendar had a headline. “We are the stories we tell ourselves”, it read. We are the stories we remember. I am the outcome of the stories I have felt in my surroundings. I am the sum of all the stories that I heard from my late grandfather. My imagination is shaped by the outlandish narratives of Goscinny and Uderzo in the Asterix and Obelix comics, and the countless stories that I have heard, felt and read in my life so far. Much like me, I am sure that you too are shaped by the various stories in your life.

The way we communicate and exchange our lives is through stories. Human beings are distinct in the way we communicate. We feel, we give voice to our feelings, and we express them through writing, singing, music, drawing, dance and so much more. And in all of this, we are constantly exchanging our thoughts, building our understanding of the world, and inspiring others around us. It is no surprise then that communicating effectively is critical to our work as members of civil society and change agents.

One-to-one connections sustain based on contact and relationships. But, as individuals turn into organizations, communication moves from one to many. This requires institutionalization of communication practices and storytelling in a way where individuals not only feel connected to a mission, but also become its champions. This is particularly difficult for small and medium sized organizations. And this is where everything falls flat.

Most organizations limit themselves to creating social media pages, asking a few friends to like these and ultimately get tired of the process of posting updates to an audience that doesn’t even care about the work. We forget the value of storytelling and we forget that we need an audience for our stories.

Social development is a dreary space – hunger, poverty, malnutrition and illiteracy are not joyful situations. People working in these spaces face despondency daily. And failure is part of the job, possibly much more than success. How then can one communicate in a way that nurtures hope? And what is the value of telling any story?

In my years of mobilizing resources and amplifying voices, I have learnt some first principles of communicating with stakeholders. Through this piece, I reflect on some of these first principles and practical tools.

1. Whose story is it anyway? Years ago, a non-profit CEO had told me that it will be easy to raise money for our work because our work is good. Some years before that I had gone on a date and the girl on the other side asked me why she should date me? I told her that I was a good person. She retorted that most people are good and that doesn’t mean we marry anyone who is good. Well, you get the point.
   Being good is never reason enough for finding support. In saying we do good work, we make ourselves the hero of our stories. It isn’t uncommon to see websites, brochures and CEOs speak about how they are reaching the poorest, the USP of their programs and so on. But the hero of your story is the audience you are catering to, not you. What is in it for them to listen to the story? What is the connection they must feel? It is a question nobody asks. Ask this and see your perspective shift.
   
2. We live in mistrust. We ask auditors to certify accounts, lawyers to represent us in courts, doctors to certify our sickness. People really don’t trust each other. Our environment promotes it. Non-profits operate in a fragmented ecosystem, where there is no way to differentiate one education project from another. There is no way for a potential donor to quickly build trust.
   The key to solving for mistrust is to enable multiple repeat interactions. If you have identified your audience, ask yourself, where are they present? How do you reach them at a certain periodicity? Keep showing up and let them know that you are here for good.
   
3. But where do I show up? Social media means everyone is online. It also means everyone is online in different places. Each platform offers only a certain kind of reach. Keeping tab of everyone everywhere is both time intensive and costly. It is important to find where most of your audience is and what they most resonate with. This will affect who you hire, the content you create and the ways you enable for your audience to interact with you.
   
4. Human beings want connection. We are wired that way. When thinking of telling a story, think of relatability. If you know your audience well, you know what they will respond to the most. Most people respond to a connection with the people they are supporting directly. Several organizations today conduct quarterly calls, city-based/location-specific gatherings and personalized stories to get the message across. See what suits you best.
   
5. Some miscommunication is fine. People don’t always flip if you slip up a little. But only a little. Persistent miscommunication (including absence of communication) leads to high levels of mistrust and can breakdown relationships. People are usually forgiving of some mistakes and in fact, it is often a sign of you being human. In a world dominated by artificial intelligence, let people know that you are personally invested in talking to them.
   
6. But what do I say? The truth is people do not care so much. The content of the story is not as critical as how the story is told. This is called building the narrative. Think of movies that have had opposing stories with the same actors and yet the outcome is the same or even better.
   Your narrative holds the key to how your audience views you. Use tools like storyboarding to organize your narrative and see what resonates deeply with you and your audience. It is hit and trial. However, you will build evidence and intuition over time to know what clicks.
   
7. All stories are the same. What’s common between the story of Krishna and Harry Potter? What’s common between Star Wars and Lord of the Rings? Think about it. It is the story of a young boy, who poses a threat to another man and is raised by a foster family to ultimately save the world.
   One could juxtapose most stories in the world to say that almost all our stories emerge from a few. Our stories aren’t as novel as we think. Where we place them, and how we narrate them, change the way we are received.
   
8. There is a power dynamic. We tell stories to our supporters because they hold power over us. It is an unequal relationship. One in which they command the resources we want to garner. We therefore owe it to them to ensure that they get the most relevant and relatable content. It must also be provided in a manner that is easily consumable for them.
   In a world where everyone gets a dozen newsletters a day, how does yours stand out? And how the supporter feels part of your narrative is an important consideration to keep in mind. Think of building contrast in your stories, using data creatively, personalizing content, and making the story about the audience.
   
9. Consistency is the key. The best content presented incoherently with varying colours, fonts, tonality and periodicities is worse off than average content presented with consistency across. The key is to aim for consistency rather than perfection. Functional is always better than slick. 10. The world does not need to be on our side. Our stories don’t need to make sense to everyone. This means that some people will never believe in us and sometimes might even question us. But those who do must always be catered to and connected with. A few supporters over a long period of time will stick around only if they feel that we truly communicate with them. Building a strong pipeline that allows significant engagement with this set ensures that they represent us as our champions and mascots.
   
10. The world does not need to be on our side. Our stories don’t need to make sense to everyone. This means that some people will never believe in us and sometimes might even question us. But those who do must always be catered to and connected with. A few supporters over a long period of time will stick around only if they feel that we truly communicate with them. Building a strong pipeline that allows significant engagement with this set ensures that they represent us as our champions and mascots.
    Recently, I heard the phrase ‘creatively maladjusted’. Martin Luther King used it in the context of challenging power to redefine the status quo. I have learnt these first principles within the practice of being a maladjusted fundraiser. I hope you challenge yourself too, to become maladjusted to the status quo of benign storytelling and use the power of your experiences to amplify unheard voices.