Only Teachers Can, with Talking Circle

Talking circles can create cohesive communities, enhance perspectives and aid in mental well-being of children. Yet, so few of us are doing it!

It is judgement time… 24/5 X 365.

We are living in a world where each one of us is a judge and jury for others. It also implies that we are also being judged by others. And children are not immune to judging others, and at the same time being judged.

Surviving in the fast-paced digital era is having an impact on our children across urban and rural settings. The Covid-19 pandemic only added to the misery, as everyone was forced to go digital. We are witnessing increasing cases of cyberbullying, social comparisons, addiction, lack of physical exercise and sleep disruptions resulting in anxiety, depression, and related well-being issues. Compounding these, is the stigma associated with talking about mental health issues.

In UNICEF’s global flagship publication ‘The State of the World’s Children 2021’ titled On My Mind: Promoting, Protecting and Caring for Children’s Mental Health, it has been highlighted that India was the only one of 21 countries where only a minority of young people indicated that they are comfortable reaching out to others in case of mental health issues. In all the other countries, most young people (ranging from 56 to 95 per cent) felt that reaching out was the best way to deal with mental health issues. As India accounts for one-fifth of the world’s adolescent population, such a sorry situation can have global implications.

We are the change agents!

As educators, we are uniquely positioned to play an important role in promoting mental well-being and in creating a supportive environment for our children. We need to leverage our long hours spent with children, our authority and trust, and our ability to make the changes in our classrooms and in schools to create conducive, safe spaces for them. These have to be spaces where they will not be judged, and which will help them to empower their narratives.

Talking Circles

In this context, I think Talking Circle should be seen and used as a powerful tool that can be used to create safe spaces for children, inside and outside the classroom. With consistent usage of Talking Circle, I have time and again been a delighted witness to children experiencing themselves as active, creative agents of change within their own world and around them.

One of the most significant benefits of Talking Circle is that children learn to form and respect perspectives. In a world of social media and fake news, it is essential that children learn to see things from multiple perspectives and develop this skill at an early age.

With a dedicated forum and time to share one’s perspectives and listen to others’ perspectives without judgment, we can see the compounding impact on children, as they expand their horizons and start feeling confident about their views and opinions.

I remember the day when two girls of my class frantically came up to me and posed a simple question, “Why do we not have sanitary pads in the class?” They had searched the entire school for the pads and hence this request. I sensed an opportunity to have a conversation around this. I told them that it needs to be taken to the class community for its agreement, if we have to implement the idea. We decided that before we take it to the entire class, we will have a meeting with the girls to assess their comfort with the idea.

In the Talking Circle with the girls, the two pitched the idea. While the majority agreed, we saw discomfort raised by two-three students, and they were categorical that they will not be comfortable taking out the pads in the presence of the boys. The idea had taken roots and I was seeing the tiny seed starting to sprout. The girls took it upon themselves to convince the three girl students about the concept. And they did it!

Next step – taking the idea to the boys. Another talking circle was dedicated to this. In the talking circle, girls took a box to the class. A few boys looked a little stunned, some were giggling, few looked away and a handful were looking at the box and the contents inside. In the end, the battle was won as the boys agreed to have the box in the class, even as the three girls who were earlier not comfortable joined in to articulate the need to have the box.

Now the class as a community understood why it was important to have the box in the class. We also ensured that the box should remain relevant for the boys in the class.

It was decided that the boys will take the responsibility of restocking the box, and they took to this task with enthusiasm. I have had parents writing to me mentioning that taboo topics like menstruation have been discussed with ease and comfort at home after the class community sessions.

I have seen such transformation Talking Circle brings to a space where children learn how to regulate their emotions and respond appropriately to the emotions of others. This emotional regulation is essential for children to develop healthy relationships with others and to cope with the challenges of life.

Regular Talking Circle sessions for children enable them to find solutions to multiple problems as a community. Talking about individual problems helps create solutions for the entire class. As we all know that exams are always stressful for children and during one session, a particular child mentioned about his fear of math and the stress for the exams. We took the fear of math back to the class community with a session, as we invited ‘Math as a Person’ to the classroom.

Reactions to this were insightful. One child mentioned that math is a like a block of ice on her head, which numbs everything. Another said that it is like a Russian movie with no subtitles. “It is an exciting game to be played,” mentioned another. As we discovered the relationship with math, it was decided to form math buddies in the classroom. Through this process, children good in maths agreed to support others to practice five sums on a daily basis.

I think Talking Circle is a magical tool that can have a profound impact on children’s lives. It is essential that educators and parents alike recognize its importance and incorporate it into their daily routines.

Safe spaces and cohesive communities

Consistent sessions of Talking Circles create safe spaces for children in the classroom. This in turn is the source behind creating cohesive communities. I cannot emphasize the importance of communities in our lives, especially in the lives of teens, as they are grappling with issues at multiple levels, including academic pressures, social media, parental expectations and interpersonal challenges. All these have the potential to lead to increasing cases of loneliness, anxiety and other mental health challenges for them.

The words of Helen Keller, “Alone, we can do so little; together, we can do so much,” reaffirms my belief of the significance of the role that educators can play in the lives of our children. We can create cohesive communities for children. Of course, I cannot stress enough the power and importance of communities for children as they can provide a sense of belonging, support, socialization, and exposure to diversity, which are all essential for their development and wellbeing.

The other ignored aspect of the classroom, is related to parents. Each parent will have a set of expectations from the school, teachers and her ward, beyond the academics. Here too Talking Circle can play an important role in understanding the expectations during the parents’ orientation at the beginning of the year. This equips the teacher to have a starting point in understanding socioemotional goals of each child in the class.

Beyond the starting point, I have seen the class community taking up parents’ issues and finding solutions. In one of my classes, a few parents mentioned that they cannot keep track of homework and are not aware of what is happening in the school, as their teens were not communicating much at home.

I took the problem back to the class community during my Talking Circle session. After conversation, the class came up with the idea of an eLog book where an update on daily work that was done, and homework due for submission, was put up. It was created and managed by the children with access to all the parents.

The Three ‘I’s: Intent, Ignorance and Initiative

So, what is stopping educators across the country to start their own consistent Talking Circle sessions? In my multiple workshops with various schools, I find, time and again, the 3 ‘I’ – intent, ignorance and initiative – themes running amongst my fraternity members.

Let’s look at ‘Intent.’ While no school, its senior leadership, or teachers, will deny the importance of children’s mental well-being and the need for safe spaces, in reality, there is a serious lack of intent in creating safe spaces for children. I think most schools have got into the ‘numbers’ game, and for valid reasons.

Hence, the focus is largely on academics, winning inter-school competitions, showcasing how many people got into reputed national and international universities, etc. These are things which are tangible and quantifiable.

In this numbers game, which is also sought by the parent community, where is the time to have conversations about mental wellbeing, developing perspectives and pursuing happiness?

Next on the list of reasons for schools not practicing Talking Circles as an children empowering tool is ‘Ignorance.’ Even if we think that the school and its senior leadership have the right intention around Talking Circles, I see that the teachers themselves are not aware of the power of the tool, given that they do not have much understanding of the hows and whys of Talking Circles.

Finally, the delivery of Talking Circles will happen in the classroom. And the teacher must be aware of her role during Talking Circles (see the box item on ‘Talking Circles: Things to Remember’ on this page).

I strongly believe that schools with intention must invest in teacher training and equip them to bring the change in the classrooms. This will bring enormous benefits for children, teachers, schools and parents.

Finally, is the ‘Initiative’ aspect. This has multiple layers to it. First and foremost, the big misfortune of the teaching community is that many of us get into this profession by ‘chance.’ Unlike other professions, it is not a ‘choice’ for much of the teaching fraternity.

Another layer is the pressure of the modern schooling system. Given the time constraints, our focus is, first and foremost, to complete the syllabus. Talking Circle sessions do not fit within this focus.

Some of the top private schools may have a better teacher to student ratio. However, for many schools with large class sizes, it is difficult to effectively manage Talking Circle activities.

Finally, a teacher might be keen to do Talking Circle sessions in the classroom. But she might still find it difficult to lead, due to lack of training and understanding.

Being a regular practitioner of Talking Circle, and now as an advocate, I know its power and potential to create magic in the classrooms and to make the school experience a truly worthy one, not only for the children but for each teacher as well.

Talking Circles (TC): Things to Remember

• The teacher is only a facilitator during a TC.
• A non-judgemental environment is extremely important. Personal opinions and references are a big ‘no’.
• Group rules need to be designed and agreed upon by the class community.
• Avoid using Talking Circle sessions for reprimands and coercions.
• Talking Circle sessions should not be treated as filler activities.
• Conducting Talking Circles will differ depending on the students’ age.
• Topics for Talking Circle sessions should emerge from the participants. The teacher can offer topics after observation and understanding the needs of the class.